Paulien Oltheten | Lourdes TV (film)

Lourdes TV (film), 2024

Length of film: 95 minutes

“It all started with you lighting a candle and telling me not to disturb you.You were going to do something. The following night you did it again. Well, it started happening more often, with more and more candles. And the hours increased."

In 2020, Paulien Oltheten’s girlfriend develops a psychosis. During sleepless nights surfing the Internet, Paulien chances upon a WebCam that films the Grotto of Apparitions in Lourdes 24/7.

For months, she watches it endlessly. Fascinated, she follows the rigid routines of the priests and nuns as they make their preparations for Mass. Pilgrims stand there and watch for a while or shuffle along, passing out of view. Slowly, the thoughts in her mind intermingle with the repetitive movements. A woman with a purple-pink backpack waves at the camera every day. A man with a beret keeps trying to grab something out of the air.

The live stream of an assistant lighting the candles every morning marks the start of Paulien’s day.

Why can’t she detach herself from these people who cling wholeheartedly to the Virgin Mary? Is there something in their adoration of of this absent apparition that helps her to get a grip on her girlfriend’s mystical delusions?

In the hour and a half that the viewer’s gaze follows the little events around the grotto, a story about gradually letting go of a loved one takes shape.

I remember one evening...it had been silent for a while. I went in to check on you. And you had fallen asleep, so I blew out the candles. That woke you up, and you got so angry. It was as if I had ruined something. That's the impression I got. You said it, too...that I’d ruined something.

Made in collaboration with Albert Elings (editor), Peter Delpeut (creative advisor), Sergio Gonzàlez Cuervo (sound designer) and Lotte van den Berg (dramaturg) and platform SoAP (Space oriented Artistic Practice)

Financially supported by De Korte Verbeelding (a collaboration between the Netherlands Film Fund and the Mondriaan Fund) / Dommering Foundation / Amsterdam Fund for the Arts / platform SoAP.